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12 Signs And Symptoms Of An Addictive Relationship

By Bill Urell

Republish: EasyPublish™ Published: 05Sep2007 Word count: 593 Viewed: 252 time(s) Get Free Content For Your Site

What exactly is an addictive relationship? An addictive relationship is an unhealthy situation in which you suffer cravings for the attention and presence of another person. It can lead to feelings similar to drug withdrawal if these needs are not met, including low self-esteem, helplessness, lack of self-confidence and passive behavior. Unfortunately, it can be hard to tell if you're stuck in an addictive relationship. Here are twelve signs that something might be wrong.

1. You need a relationship to feel happy. If you're not in a relationship, you may feel depressed, and that depression lightens when you start a new connection with someone else. "Any relationship is better than none".

2. You feel strongly drawn to someone else, even when you think they might not be healthy to be around. You frequently act on these feelings.

3. When you know that the relationship you're in is bad for you, you still have trouble ending it. You may feel unable to stop seeing someone, despite being aware that you're in a destructive situation.

4. You try to change the other person in an attempt to 'fix things' or attain your ideal mate.

5. You look for other relationships as soon as you've broken one off. This keeps you from being alone.

6. When you think about ending a relationship, you find yourself feeling strong worry about whether or not the other person will be okay without your presence.

7. Your relationships are frequently with people who are far away, married, otherwise involved, or emotionally unavailable.

8. Even years after your relationship is over, you find it dominating your thoughts.

9. You're more concerned about what pleases your partner than what makes you happy, both in bed and outside the bedroom.

10. You're afraid of being independent inside your relationship, no matter how independent you are in regular life, and saying no to your partner is extremely difficult.

11. You have a hard time believing you deserve a good relationship. This kind of self-doubt may lead to controlling behavior, jealousy, and possessiveness.

12. You 'yo-yo' in and out of relationships, despite trying to end them. This may include breaking things off, then feeling strong withdrawal symptoms, and reestablishing the relationship again to end those feelings.

If these signs and symptoms seem familiar, you may be suffering from an relationship addiction. There are things you can do to escape this trap, however. The first step is recognizing that you're hooked on the other person, and trying to understand why. This will allow you to decide whether the relationship is worth saving or you're better off without it.

Many people name superficial or practical reasons for staying in an addictive relationship. The most common of these is 'doing it for the kids,' but other reasons may include shared living space, financial problems, or worry that other people will disapprove. However, deep down, the reasons for staying are usually based on the beliefs a person holds about relationships. These may include such assertions as "True love lasts forever," "Successful relationships don't end," "Being alone is the worst thing that can happen to me," and "If I work hard, I can save this." These can be destructive and keep you in a situation that only gets worse.

Overcoming an addictive relationship requires that you make recovering from it your first priority. You may be helped by seeing a counselor and learning to put yourself first. A support network of friends and family can also ease the transition out of this kind of damaging situation.

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