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Visitation Agreements When You Are Divorced

By Len Stauffenger

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Published: 22Apr2009
Word count: 467
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When divorce drives it's nasty fangs into your life, reasonable agreements isn't a topic that sits very easily on your lap. Your own emotions are generally boiling, and it's more likely that revenge would be more on the forefront than reasonable agreements.

But you are growing into maturity with the help of your divorce, and you now have children to put into the first spot where you used to live, so let's do think about reasonable visitation agreements.

The majority of parents love their children equally. And your children blossom under the spell of the love of each of you, so let's consider some ideas about visitation rights after divorcing.

Father's Rights are a big bone of contention during a divorce. You should both sit down and make a list of the rights of the parent who has custody and the parent who does not have custody. You both do have rights. Use the internet to see what others have said about this topic. Consider: how much time each parent should have; don't over-schedule activities in your visitation period; should the grandparents be considered; how?; creating a child friendly home; summer vacations; how holidays will be handled? Topics like these deserve your attention and it's wiser to resolve it before the time arrives than on the fly.

There is not only one way to establish visitation agreements. There is your way for you. There is the court's intervention when necessary. There are different rules in different states. The best way is to arrive at a decision between the divorcing parents. If that is not possible, it can be arrived at through each parent's attorney. Keep in mind that the children's welfare is the ruling decision maker here.

If a parent isn't living up to the visitation agreement, the court can be a help in enforcement. Don't allow the frustration over one parent's non-compliance to infect the children. Go to the court for help before that happens.

There are three main topics to be considered: the Schedule, how to make the Exchange, and Communication for issues that arise.

Modifications to the Visitation Agreement can be made at any time to reflect the children's best interests, and both parents should be work toward a reasonable agreement for this. In fact, this issue of visitation agreements is contentious and on-going, so your flexibility will be tested here as well as through other areas about your divorce. It might be the only tool left to maintain control over an out-of-control divorce. Your visitation agreement can prevent years of stress and of good benefit for your children, and when it comes to your children, you know how I feel that the kids are the most important part.

In his book "Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced Parents," Len Stauffenger shares with you the simple wisdom gleaned from his divorce and from the raising of his daughters. Len is a Success Coach and an Attorney. His is a heartfelt, visionary story of the success at the end of his divorce journey. You can purchase Len's book and it's accompanying workbook at http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com

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