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Article Directory :: Home & Family Articles
Why consider reconciliation vs. a divorce? Because divorce has consequences that can be enormous and overwhelming and painful for everyone involved. From my perspective, reconciliation can occur both before a divorce and afterward it. Let's look at some of the options you might have and perhaps save you from some emotional pain.
If you want to explore reconciliation instead of a divorce, you've got to look objectively at all of the aspects that led to the divorce. Please look at both your spouse's as well as your shortcomings. You've got to make a list of both of your irritating, unacceptable, or trust breaking behaviors that led to this place in your lives. Then, you'll need a plan to resolve them. Getting help from a marriage counselor is wise and worth whatever expense it incurrs.
See if each of you has changed during the time when you first considered a divorce and now when you are considering reconciliation. If there hasn't been any change, the same problems will lead you right back to where you are now. Perhaps a bit more work is in store before you seek reconciliation.
Are you emotionally able to offer a second chance or forgiveness without holding a grudge or maintaining a score card? Are you afraid to be on your own and perhaps you are using that fear to reconcile? Neither of these will foster a true reconciliation and must be dealt with.
Are you still in love with your partner? If not to the same degree, can you return to the fullness that it once was? If there are trust issues here, you must work through them in order to have a full reconciliation.
Do the issues still exist that led you to the consideration of a divorce? If yes, reconciliation won't work without a resolution of those issues. Are you willing to resolve them?
Can you be intimate again with trust? Are you willing to do couples therapy? You might be a candidate for reconciliation and saving your marriage. Reconciliation requires objectivity.
Many emotional wounds have to be healed. Pain, deception, betrayal, loss of trust are but a few. Can you overcome these wounded feelings? Have you matured from your mistakes? Has your partner matured from his?
Your security might have been shattered; it's a powerful loss. I firmly believe that this opportunity to discover who are you and what do you truly want might lead to a reconciliation and I sincerely hope that my questions help you find harmony in your life.
In his book "Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced Parents," Len Stauffenger shares with you the simple wisdom gleaned from his divorce and from the raising of his daughters. Len is a Success Coach and an Attorney. His is a heartfelt, visionary story of the success at the end of his divorce journey. You can purchase Len's book and it's accompanying workbook at http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com
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