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One of the key principles of successful coaching is to create an atmosphere of trust between coach and coachee. This is achieved (or not) by focusing on the way we communicate. There is a well-known model called the Johari window which we can use to improve the quality of communication and thus trust in work teams.
The model suggests that there are two elements to our behaviour. There are aspects of our behaviour of which we are aware - 'known to self' and aspects of our behaviour of which others are aware - 'known to others'. If we were to plot these on a diagram we would come up with a classic four box model with four behaviour combinations. The originators of the model called each of these combinations windows:
Open Window (Known to self AND known to others) Secret Window (Known to self but NOT known to others) Blind (Known to others but NOT known to self) Unknown (Not known to others AND not known to self)
Adapted from J. Luft "The Johari Window" Human Relations Training News, Vol 5 (1961)
The Johari window was conceived by Joe Luft and Harry Ingram (hence the name) as a means of identifying interpersonal communication style. It suggests there are two sources from which we learn about our communication style: ourselves and others.
The open area includes behaviour thoughts and feelings that both we and others know. The underlying assumption of the model is that the effectiveness of our personal communication increases the larger this window becomes.
The secret area represents the thoughts and feelings we keep to ourselves. The secret area represents a large part of our behaviour when amongst strangers - where not a lot is known about each other and trust is low.
The blind area represents aspects not known to ourselves but readily apparent to others. The red faced, scowling manager shouting, "I'm not angry!" and the customer saying, "Yes, I understand" whilst frowning and looking puzzled are classic examples.
The unknown area represents the most deeply rooted aspects of our personality which are not apparent to ourselves or others around us. It is really the realm of highly trained psychologists and not something to get into here.
There are two ways to increase the size of the open area. Firstly we can disclose; that is, tell others aspects about ourselves, our values and our thoughts that they do not currently know. Secondly we can be open to feedback so that people can raise our awareness of things we do or say without realizing the effect.
Open and honest communication featuring feedback and disclosure is a feature of all effective teams and you can start to harness these attributes right away.
Before today is out try disclosing one fact about yourself and offering some constructive feedback to a colleague. Once trust is building encourage your team to give you some feedback too. The more you do this the quicker trust will build in the team and the more enduring it will become.
Matt Somers is a coaching practitioner of many years' experience. He works with a host of clients in North East England where his firm is based and throughout the UK and Europe. Matt understands that people are working with their true potential locked away. He shows how coaching provides a simple yet elegant key to this lock. For a bumper load of coaching tips and tricks - including FREE resources - visit http://www.mattsomers.com
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