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Are You Ready To Start Dating Again?

By Patrick Attlee

Republish: EasyPublish™
Published: 24Oct2009
Word count: 519
Viewed: 140 time(s)

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If you have been struggling to find a partner for a while, you can get into a mindset of "needing" to find someone. This is ok in itself but you must be careful that you are not feeling this need to compensate for the other things going on in your life. There are certain circumstances when you should not start dating and wait until you are ready. Some of these scenarios are listed below.

Bereavement. This sounds really obvious but some bereaved people go out looking for love in an attempt to feel better. It is part of the human makeup that we try, in these circumstances to not be alone, to show death that we are carrying on and that it does not hold dominion over our lives. This however, is one of the the worst times to start trying to engage with another human being. You must embrace your grief and work it through you system before embarking on any new romantic entanglements. You can actually prolong your grieving if you engage in dating too soon after a bereavement.

Job loss. If you lose your livelihood then you need to focus on that. A job is a bit like a relationship, it takes time to get and it takes time to get settled into. You can't do both at the same time and you will feel much more stable and self confident if you have a job before you embark on the dating scene.

Home loss. Forget the impulse should you lose your home to immediately start dating someone who has a place to live. This has disaster written all over it. Find new digs first otherwise you are going after someone for need rather than desire. Total carnage.

Depression. You will probably be noticing a theme emerging here. If you are depressed you will go looking for a partner out of a need and not a want which is not fair on them. If you are truly depressed, i.e. have been very sad for more than a fortnight, you are forever crying and feel lost and tired all the time then getting a date will not fix these things. You need to take action on getting to the cause of these feelings and work them out before you will have any energy left to properly devote to another person.

Rebound. When we are dumped, which, by the way happens to all of us at some point, it is very easy to have the mentality of immediately going back out there and meeting someone new. The goal is to a) prove to yourself that you are still attractive and b) to show your ex how sexy and desirable you are and what a terrible mistake they have made running off with that total loser. Please try to put these thoughts from your mind, going down this route is again, feeding a personal need. It is not fair to your new date, and it is not fair to you.

Keeping these thoughts in mind can really help ascertain if you are ready to be dating or not.

Patrick Attlee is a journalist who writes mainly about relationships and dating. However ever since he bought a queen memory foam mattress he has become passionate about spreading the word about visco elastic foam mattress technology

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