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I admit it. Before the demise of my hips and their cartilage, I wasn't quite sure what bilateral meant. I always just assumed that it had something to do with lying next to a man who wasn't out of the closet yet or maybe a different type of lens for your bifocals. But worse than this, I didn't care to know. Put it this way, I was more than willing to go to the grave without ever having uttered, let alone discuss the implications of the word bilateral. For the two people out there who can relate to this ignorance? Bilateral means both sides.
In the world of hip replacements, otherwise known as THRs, bilateral means you've had two new hips installed. And in many cases, if one hip goes south, the other one often heads in the same direction. It makes sense. In my case I had hip dysplasia, a word every dog lover knows. And even though I am a bit further up the food chain, my hips were shallow in their sockets and lasted about the same length as a purebred German shepherd. By age 43, my athleticism had taken a toll and my right hip started aching. Within six months I was limping. In two more months I couldn't sleep due to radiating pain. Hips are notorious for causing excruciating pain. They are also known to come in twos. So, having such miraculous relief from my first hip pain made my second THR decision easy. Two years later, the hip that had always LOOKED worse on the x-rays but that had never caused me any problems (go figure. the mind deals with pain in mysterious ways) started to ache. WIthin six months I was back to my gimping gait and sleepless nights. I waited until my one remaining hip started keeping me awake all night and the next day I booked my surgery. Some people agonize a lot more over whether to do it or not. Once you have one THR and feel the fabulous effects, it's easy to go bilateral, baby. So now when people in my spinning or yoga classes call me the bionic woman, I wink and correct them. I tell them that I'd rather be called the bilateral woman. So if you are younger than forty and having hip deterioration that is affecting your athleticism, don't agonize. Just find the best doctor who does THRs every day all day long and go have a chat. Time to get back to your workout routine.
Penny Love Hoff, 25 year fitness professional, who has had two total hip replacements, is the author of the revolutionary CD workout program"Does My Marriage Make Me Look Fat?", an eight week fitness program for couples to radically change your body and reawaken your relationship.You can find her at
http://www.newhiptips.com
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