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Isn't it ironic that so many people say that they are too wiped out to have sex, when in fact sex might be just what they need? It's true: When you feel dragged out and out of gas, sex can bring you back to life. Instead of pulling away the next time your partner suggests a lovemaking session because you are stressed, remind yourself that sex can help you feel better.
Take a look at all the benefits of sex:
Brings oxygen through the body. When you make love, you breathe more deeply. This oxygenates your blood and revitalized you.
Makes you feel secure and calm. Touch has many benefits to it, one of which is to calm you down. Touch is an essential need of all humans. Take advantage of the opportunity to get your "touch hunger" filled.
Making a connection. There is plenty of research that demonstrates that people who have social connections cope better with stress. What better way to feel connected than to have sex with someone you love?
Happy chemicals. Making love boosts all kinds of beneficial brain chemicals, including serotonin, dopamine, and endorphins. Sex is a great mood elevator and stress reliever.
Aerobic activity. Although sex is not a tremendous calorie burner, it does supply some aerobic activity, which is a good idea when it comes to managing stress.
Natural sleeping aid. Many people feel more relaxed after sex or orgasm and get a good night's sleep. Why not make love instead of taking a pill?
What if you claim that you really are just too wound up to make love? How about preparing yourself with some other ways to relax?
Water. A warm shower or bath can help you wash away the cares of the day and relax tense muscles. If you have access to a hot tub, that would be wonderful, too.
Massage. A rubdown with massage oil is a great way to prepare for sex. Or you could use a electric- or battery-powered massager if you and your partner want to save more of your energy for sex. Your massage can be nonsexual, that is, really focused on relieving muscle tension, or it can be sensual, as part of foreplay. You get to decide.
Music. Have some relaxing tunes on hand. Smooth jazz or soft acoustic guitar are good choices. Listen to music by yourself if you need to wind down, then ask your partner to join you as you begin to engage in foreplay.
Mood lighting. Soft lighting or candlelight are good for relaxing, too. After a day spent under fluorescent lights, being able to rest your eyes can be calming. Or try lying down for a bit with an eye pillow, a small rectangular cloth envelope filled with rice or buckwheat hulls. The light pressure will soothe your eyes and relax your body.
A snack. Maybe you need a little snack pick-me-up to energize yourself for sex. Try something healthy and, for fun, choose something that is said to be an aphrodisiac. Almonds and a bit of apricot nectar mixed with sparkling water could perk you up for just a little more sexy activity.
There's really no purpose served in putting off sex in times of stress. In fact, you could think about sex as just about the only positive way of multitasking: Having sex, reducing stress, and making your partner happy all in relatively short span of time! So stop making excuses not to have sex and starting putting it at the top of your "to do" list when start to feel overwhelmed.
I'm Dr. Stephanie Buehler, licensed psychologist, AASECT certified sex therapist, and "Your Passion Expert." I enjoy helping people experience love and passion, in and out of the bedroom. Want a copy of my free e-book "Sexual Discoveries: 25 Secrets for Incredible Passion"? Click http://www.yourpassionexpert.com .
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